it’s irrelevant to my blog. but these babys are what i’m breaking my ankles in this weekend ♥
there is no such thing as the emerald city
I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately, don’t get me wrong I love them all. But i’m sort of noticing a constant between them. There is sort of the perception that once you get to your UGW than its the end, thats “your emerald city” so to speak, at the end of our “yellow brick road” which we know as the everyday life of eating disorders. I just thought i would offer my own experience… once your at that weight it dosnt feel that great, you might think you’ll look at the scales and be over the moon with that number… well yeah you might be for what 5 seconds, but then take a look in the mirror and see it still isn’t good enough. I reached my goal weight of 80lbs once, and it wasnt over. I kept going because the numbers didn’t mean shit, it was my refelction. I got to a low point but I did “recover” when i became hospitalised for kidney failure. While in hospital i found out was pregnant, which was somewhat of a miracle as i was very unwel and rarely got my period. I recovered physically after that, but i wouldnt say emotionally. During pregnancy and after the birth i had developed compulsive over eating and only recently have i gained control over that. I would probably say I gained a little to much control as I am almost back to square one. I think having been there and done that i do know what it’s like, and i think i have the power to say no to myself when its enough. I do want to be skinny, but i also want to be healthy, so my journey i think is to find the right balance, not find the perfect number, but it’s hard.
Having said all the i know everyone has their own journey even if you don’t know what it is. I just though sharing a little of mine might help you find yours.
"everything works out fine in the end, if things are a mess now, than it isn’t the end"
whats working for me
Ok so i’ve had a really good run the last couple weeks, been at the top of my game… most the time, i must admit i have given into a few temptations and felt awful afterwards, but the key thing there was that i got back on track straight after insetad of giving up for the rest of that day!.
i would like to keep track of my weight but i just don’t have scales as i’m staying at my parents house while waiting for my new house to finish being built. anyway i lost 3.5 inches (9cm) off my waist last week (i re-measure fridays so i’ll update you all then), so here is hoping to more, i am feeling more slender.
What ive been doing exercise wise:
- I’ve been doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred for a week now, and am ready to move up to level 2 tomorrow, I do it everyday even if im sore work past that
- Started Jillian Michaels Yoga meltdown yesterday, anyone who can do yoga well i applaud you! It was hard, and im feeling the pain today, going to aim at doing that one every second day. Even though its a killer (even at level 1) i really like the zen that yoga brings to me. does make me appreciate my body a bit more.
- do whatever other movement i can where possible, i go for walks down the road and back (my parents live in the country). I garden, i started a vegie patch, good workout digging, weeding and watering, plus i get organic vegies at the end, my broccolini and spinach are almost ready =)
What i’ve been doing food wise:
- basically i eat as close to nature as possible. Using fresh and organic foods….nothing processed
- havent been counting calories. only becasue other times when i have counted calories i make allowances for less healthier choices because im only paying attention the the calorie count rather than the sugars, additives etc. however i do always check calories just to make sure its not through the roof anything over 150 i generally don’t eat
- nothing white, like bread and potatoes
- breakfast everyday i have coffee, i have my coffees with 2 teaspoons of coffee, boiling water and a small amount of skim milk. i eat an apple. sometimes strawberries or a banana.
- I try to eat about 3.5 hours apart, 3 small meals a day. and if i have to snack i will have a small amount of fruit
- Glass of water, coffee or green tea with each meal
This is what works for me, everyone is different, you have to find something that works for you and something you can stick to and enjoy.
Research has found that a breakfast with a moderate amount of fat sets your metabolism up for the day to be programmed to use fat as fuel during the day. Don’t ignore healthy unsaturated fats!
i’m sad today, boy issues =(. I feel like curling up in a snuggie and watching legally blonde. speaking of….i have a modified version of the bend and snap that is awsome for legs and butt =) You stand up in the squats position and bend you knees slowly, about 3 seconds down (this is the bend) and then you straighten your legs in one second (this is the snap). Do 5 sets of 20 reps. Trust me you’l feel the burn way more than regualr up down up down squats. Also suck your tummy in for an added ab workout!
Time to get off my fatass and hit it iv been procrastinating for hours. im doing the 30 day shred, Jillian Michaels is killing me.